Behind smiles and frustrations

Good day, my friends.

Today, I would like to discuss a subject which has been suggested by some of the people who are listening to my podcast very regularly.

This is COVID-19 situation. It’s been a few months since we are almost indoors. And we have restricted movements, we can’t travel as we like, we have many restrictions connected to the COVID situation. So, one of the effects that we have seen which even various magazines and news channels have articulated, and this situation has been existing before as well, is about abuses, domestic abuses. We have seen unwarranted abuses happening in households where somebody’s frustration, somebody’s anger is taken on the helpless beings of the same household.

I have always objected to it. I have always been speaking against it. I believe that a lot of counselling is needed on such occasions. Often, it’s not physical abuses. It’s emotional abuses. When I say emotional abuses, it’s like even ignoring somebody in the house, not even talking bad, it’s ignoring somebody. Looking at somebody as insignificant, treating like that, or disrespecting. Disrespect is very common. We can see that in social media quite often. The things which people cannot articulate in their own community or home, they articulate in social media. Character assassination, bad language… This is so much outpouring of frustration in social media. And the people who are producing it, who are doing it, they have plenty of frustrations inside. Unspoken words, suppressed expressions, all those things. So, we are in a society today where we can see explosive emotions inside, like atomic bombs they are walking. And they explode at the wrong places or wherever possible.


So, we must do something about this domestic violence. First of all, right from childhood. I was communicating with the person, trying to bring that person out of a particular mindset and a situation where he has been quite suicidal. I was explaining my story. I have faced so many situations of life, denials, insignificance… Right from childhood, I have faced that, where the criteria of the society are marks in school, grades in school. And if you don’t perform, then you’re not wanted, you feel unwanted. You feel insignificant, you feel rejected. So many children might be feeling that even now. I believe in appreciations, rewards, recognitions. We can easily do that in childhood days. We can appreciate any quality in the children. Not only our children, any children. We have various forums for that, and even without forums, we express our appreciation and through love we can make a better world. Only through love, we can sustain the equilibrium of an individual. So, today I decided to speak about that situation, only because of that reason that it is within us to make a difference.

So, I experienced a lot of insignificance and unwantedness in my childhood. Then, as I grew up, again it is a competition. You got to compete. You got to compete and win. Not easy. Not easy because society standards are sometimes not suitable for you. Like, a person who can run faster will win. If you can’t run, then you’re a failure. Society always has this tendency to ask a fish to climb the tree and call the fish a failure because a fish is not oriented to climb the tree. Just like asking a monkey to swim and win.


So, we have this mindset which we have to change. But if all of us decide, all the people who are listening decide, “I will make a difference in this world around just through appreciating, helping, guiding, and just saying ‘I’m with you’.” Let’s do it by encouraging, appreciating the talents of any individual; everybody has some talent. Because we superimpose our expectation on them, we don’t see the talent. But, there are talents. Everybody has it. If that is appreciated, and we do not talk too much about the weaknesses. All of us have weaknesses, we all have it. I haven’t seen anybody with no weaknesses. Even the greatest of masters may have weaknesses. Weaknesses are part of our existence. And if we highlight weaknesses and say, ‘Oh, this guy is not good.’, we are eclipsing the actual truth about that man, or that person. The goodness factor, the righteousness factor, the qualities, and the capacities we eclipse by just talking about the weaknesses. Thousand good things he might be doing, but people highlight one weakness. So, this is how it is. Shakespeare has said, ‘The good that man does is often interred with their bones.’ The bad things he did or the bad qualities survive his death.

This is how the world is. So, we got to understand that people have goodness. We should appreciate the goodness and ignore the bad aspects. Everybody has it. Nobody is immune to it. You know, we should not worry about or talk too much about the bad aspects.

So, as I was growing up, I had a series of tragedies. Even though I was working and earning money, I had many times shifts from workplaces. Sometimes attempts failed, and I had a vacuum state where I did not know whether I’ll get the job. Then again, I went applied for various positions and got the jobs. So, there have been states of emptiness, no activity. Then I was called a failure. That time society brands you easily. And this sometimes some people can’t handle.


So, why I am talking about domestic violence is because some of these frustrations we bring from society. It could be very detrimental. Sushant Singh Rajput, a great, good actor, beautiful actor, committed suicide. Many people are facing stress, confusion, lack of self-esteem, you know, and they give up easily sometimes. We don’t know what are the reasons for him doing this act. But I feel that this is not an isolated thing. Many people are on the verge of leaving their life or taking that step. That’s because society does not see them, does not appreciate them, does not understand that behind the smile and this brightness there is some pain, some sorrow, which we may have carried from the past. So, we must be very considerate.

I will make another podcast on the same subject because this is getting too long. I would like to leave this thought about how we can improve. Or how we can improve the attitude that we express to this world, to the people around us, by being compassionate, by understanding people, accepting people as they are, ignoring the weaknesses of them. Now, just ignore their weaknesses and help them to overcome their dilemmas and problems. We’ll think about it more in the next episode.

Thank you very much. This is Mohanji.


Transcribed by Ulla Bernholdt

Proofread by Maja Otovich

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