Interview with Snezana Dakic (Serbian TV personality) on Instagram IGTV – Part 3
Question: I now want to ask you how to fight our ego? Some people are not aware of how much our ego is preventing us from doing the right thing.
Mohanji: Yes, the best way to assess how much ego we have is to consider how many disappointments we have. The more ego we have, we are prone to more disappointments – ego, expectations, the disappointments and then comes anger, hatred, jealousy, all such things. Ego at a minimal level is always good because we are proud of ourselves, and we have self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-love; all these are good. But, when it comes to ego, where we have more expectations that other people should respect us; other people should honour us, then it is a problem. We completely get derailed. We must understand how much ego we have. The benchmark is how much disappointment we have. When we have more and more disappointments, understand there is something wrong with us, not with other people. We blame other people for our disappointments. Please understand, we are creating that situation within us.
Question: Yes, that is true. Sometimes we think, he is very self-confident; he must be very smart, but it is a matter of egoism.
Mohanji: Self-confidence is a very positive thing because when we are sure about our life, ourselves; when we accept ourselves; self-confidence happens. That is a very good thing. Self-confidence is a driving force for most of our goals to be achieved. I always feel that self-confidence must be cultivated in children especially. We must have self-confidence. When it becomes over-confidence and superiority complex, then it becomes a bit obscene. That is not so good.
Question: You mentioned the superiority complex. It is usually from weakness. Maybe we should explain that if some people seem superior and act like that, what is it behind?
Mohanji: Superiority complex usually comes with a lot of self-esteem, overrated self-esteem. Sometimes, we rate ourselves higher, and we feel that everybody else is lower than us. That really affects our equilibrium. Then we start feeling that I am above everybody. I am superior to everybody. Everything I do is amazing. It is a delusion which we cultivate. Superiority complex is always delusional. Sometimes, when that is lost, people commit suicide. They are completely devastated. Many times, celebrities face this thing because they feel that people’s appreciations are forever. They might have appreciated it for some reason and for some time. But to sustain that, a strong character should back it up. The appreciation that we derived from society is temporary, usually. If you really want to continue that, it should be backed up by a great personality, great character. You should be really adding value to society; then, it will be sustained. Otherwise, the immediate impression or some activity that brought the appreciation may not stay forever.
Question: One very important thing that he told us about on this retreat is that we should avoid resistance. Tell us what it actually means and how it brings peace and happiness in our everyday life; if we actually stop resisting the things that we cannot change?
Mohanji: Life brings situations to us. So many different situations happen each moment, each day. What are our choices? One is to accept situations, accept the flow of life, or resist them. When we resist it, we have pain inside. Whatever we resist becomes like a pending matter, something which you have to handle later. Whatever we accept, “Okay, a situation has happened, let me see what I can do about it.” Handle it positively. When we handle a situation positively, we always have a greater chance of overcoming a burden or a hurdle. Otherwise, we resist it; it stays pending. A small thing becomes a mountain of a problem. When a situation happens, if you resist it, it can become a problem. If you handle a situation, you accept the situation, face it, work through it, use all your strengths and solve it; it stays solved. This is very important. For people to be successful, you got to understand that resistance is not the solution here. You got to overcome a problem by handling it, facing fears and overcoming fears. Like that everything you face, if you handle it with a cool mind, things can be sorted.
Transcribed by Seema Jamakhandi
Proofread by Rekha Murali